From Lizard to Debutante: Entering the World of Literature
By Cartie Whitelaw
On June 5th, I had my first-ever book launch for my memoir, The Pantomime of a Southern Chameleon. The feeling was entirely surreal; to have people there, for me, for a story that, at one time, I had no plans to share. Yet as I stared into the crowd of friends, family, and book lovers alike, I had this ineffable feeling of motivation, of wanting to write 1000 books. Maybe it was the rush, maybe it’s Maybeleine, or most likely of all, I felt I had finally broken through into the world of literature, a debutante introduced to an elusive society that I still don’t entirely understand.
Inspirations and motivations alike
When I think about what pushed me to share this book with the world, I often reflect back on a coffee shop. If you have read my book already, you know that it is sickeningly on reference, yet it somehow remains true to me. The memory I specifically reflect on was finding Ben Okri’s book The Freedom Artist at a cafe in Austin, Texas. In the span of eight hours, I read that book from cover to cover. To say his style is spellbinding is an understatement. I seldom have reading experiences where I literally can’t put the book down, but this one was obviously the exception. There was one idea in this book, however, that completely changed the trajectory of my life. It was that writers, no matter how talented or accomplished, come to this world with a duty, a responsibility to share their stories. You never know how far and wide your work will reach, or how just one sentence can change others' lives. As someone who felt pretty powerless in theirs, this meant everything to me. I viewed my work as important and necessary, and finally got the courage to open up to the world. Ten months later, I signed my first book deal.
The Journey
While the section above does make the process seem like magic, it actually takes quite a bit of work and personal drive to make it happen. My deal with Ybernia books was the end point of a long list of rejections from my peers and the industry alike. I probably sent eighty pitches to literary agents and publishing houses across the world. I am serious, I have a spreadsheet. All of them either ignored me, told me my work wasn’t the right fit, or that I was too young to publish. I almost believed them until I started going to other authors’ launches. The authors detailed their own recollections of publishing their first book. It took years to find the right agent, to go through the strenuous editing process, and finally get it out to the world. While I wasn’t elated to hear how difficult it was to publish, I was happy to see that it was possible. It was authors like Tim Parfitt and Lucia Lijtmaer, real people in the flesh, who kept me going. That and a few glasses of wine. Slowly but surely, I found my way through the writing world. Writing groups, parties, and finally a bookshop soiree where I met one of Ybernia’s writers and, consequently, someone gave me a chance.
New life as a debutante
Now that my book is getting into readers' hands and into bookshops, I can only hope that they will be entertained and, above all, inspired to go after what they want. Something I have learned throughout this entire process is that your mission in life has to exceed your need for external validation. You have to believe in your talents and your work before anyone else does. You will have moments of isolation and questioning, but you can’t let that deter you from moving forward. Because in those moments of pure self-belief (or delusion), you will find that you are alright just by yourself, that you are enough, no matter what you have. And if you start to question, just look at the itinerary of your local bookshop, and you’ll have a published writer tell you the same thing.
So, I stand here now, a chameleon in white gloves, awaiting the judgement of the world, hoping I will be loved and accepted by all writers, readers, and reviewers. However, no matter the outcome of all this, I know I will be okay because of the strenuous journey it took to get here. Who knows, maybe I’ll be the next reptilian James Patterson.
And remember...
You can buy Cartie’s book here.
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